Computer Haikus

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson
I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...
-- Owen Mathews
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again
-- Chris Walsh
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs
Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.
-- Jason Axley
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews
wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
-- Nick Sweeney
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
-- Simon Firth
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
-- Joy Rothke
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
-- David Ansel
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
-- James Lopez
There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge
-- Rahul Sonnad
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
-- Margaret Segall
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
-- Brian M. Porter
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes
A single keystroke
& all keys now behave right
numlock unlocks it
-- Paul Lagasse
A lump of metal
Why rage against the machine?
It does not hear you
Corrupted data
Electric oblivion
Order is fleeting
Auto-update failed
Cannot get back to square one
Where is the handbook?
Monitor flickers
Another missing driver
Search the Web in vain
System file not found
Order is transitory
Tech support answers not
I wrote the ones in italic; the rest are from: 21st Salon. Deadline for entries was Feb. 2, 1998.
Haiku is a Japanese poetic form consisting of three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, respectively.